Hanging Out, Dates And The Fine Line Between Them
Hanging Out, Dates, And The Fine Line Between Them
For some women, they look at it from the stance of “if he asked me out
and he paid, that was a date”. I call bullsh!t. It’s far too many women saying
they go on dates when they’re actually participating in serial outings.
Expensive yet infrequent outings aren’t guaranteed to lead you to date,
therefore the terms aren’t synonymous. Allow me to use a tweet from a Twitter
buddy who endorsed my standing belief.
It may seem like semantics, but you cannot date someone you barely know.
To date, someone is to mutually acknowledge that you’re aware of goals and
intents. By having a continuum of conversations and developing a sense of
routine, it’s established that whatever time you spend is ultimately going to
lead to a monogamous relationship. There is no “wait and see” or “will he or
won’t he”.
With outings, there’s nebulous tension. Guys want everything to be right
so that their time isn’t wasted. With dates (or should I say the act of
dating), you know exactly why you’re doing the things you do. In my experience
and observations, outings thrive on hope and dates continue on
certainty. When you’re getting to know someone, you’re committing to
egregious, abnormal errors in the hope that she’ll let you “in”. When you’re
dating someone, it’s within the parameters of you knowing what’s going to
happen because your actions intend for it.
I love sports, so I’ll tie this into a football analogy. NY Giants wide
receiver Victor Cruz had an outstanding season! He was right up in the ranks
statistically with Megatron, who is currently the highest-paid player in the
NFL. Cruz is a crucial reason the Giants made it to and won the Superbowl. One
would think that would warrant a raise right? Or in the sports world, an
extension? Wrong! Cruz got the chance to really show the Giant's front office
what he’s capable of. But they’re holding out to see if he can be consistent
before they decide to loosen their wallet.
Because of my theory on outings and dates, I think women should look at
hanging out as a job fair with on-the-spot interviews. When you’re looking for
employment, you don’t apply for one job at a time. So why should you
only “hang out” with 1 guy at a time waiting for him to take you on a proper
date? I’ll sign off with this tidbit my married friend told me the
other night, “a man’s true interest in a woman is never confusing. If you have
to look for signs to confirm his interest, it doesn’t exist.”
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