Hanging Out, Dates And The Fine Line Between Them

Hanging Out, Dates, And The Fine Line Between Them

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For some women, they look at it from the stance of “if he asked me out and he paid, that was a date”. I call bullsh!t. It’s far too many women saying they go on dates when they’re actually participating in serial outings. Expensive yet infrequent outings aren’t guaranteed to lead you to date, therefore the terms aren’t synonymous. Allow me to use a tweet from a Twitter buddy who endorsed my standing belief.

It may seem like semantics, but you cannot date someone you barely know. To date, someone is to mutually acknowledge that you’re aware of goals and intents. By having a continuum of conversations and developing a sense of routine, it’s established that whatever time you spend is ultimately going to lead to a monogamous relationship. There is no “wait and see” or “will he or won’t he”.

With outings, there’s nebulous tension. Guys want everything to be right so that their time isn’t wasted. With dates (or should I say the act of dating), you know exactly why you’re doing the things you do. In my experience and observations, outings thrive on hope and dates continue on certainty. When you’re getting to know someone, you’re committing to egregious, abnormal errors in the hope that she’ll let you “in”. When you’re dating someone, it’s within the parameters of you knowing what’s going to happen because your actions intend for it.

I love sports, so I’ll tie this into a football analogy. NY Giants wide receiver Victor Cruz had an outstanding season! He was right up in the ranks statistically with Megatron, who is currently the highest-paid player in the NFL. Cruz is a crucial reason the Giants made it to and won the Superbowl. One would think that would warrant a raise right? Or in the sports world, an extension? Wrong! Cruz got the chance to really show the Giant's front office what he’s capable of. But they’re holding out to see if he can be consistent before they decide to loosen their wallet.

Because of my theory on outings and dates, I think women should look at hanging out as a job fair with on-the-spot interviews. When you’re looking for employment, you don’t apply for one job at a time. So why should you only “hang out” with 1 guy at a time waiting for him to take you on a proper date? I’ll sign off with this tidbit my married friend told me the other night, “a man’s true interest in a woman is never confusing. If you have to look for signs to confirm his interest, it doesn’t exist.”

 

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